My blessed life

Hi :)

So after we became parents to our angel baby Easton, we kinda just drifted along, experiencing some major downs and days that almost felt normal. But as I just kept breathing and going through each day I noticed I could breath a bit easier this day or this night. I will always miss him but I have come to a place of acceptance (not like) just accept. 

So a bit of back history, bare with me. I've had a really good friend since highschool that I adore. And we were pregnant at the same time. But she miscarried at 9 weeks and I had Easton early. Then 7-8 months after our loss we found out that we (my friend) were pregnant again at the same time.

I miscarried at 6 weeks and she asked us to adopt.

I won't tell her story but she is a part of ours. My friend came to live with us and we had a wonderful 7 months together. We so enjoyed spending this time with her and being apart of "our" pregnancy. 

We felt our baby kick, hiccup, and move. We went to every appointment and Chad got to cut the cord.

We are now part of a new family. And we also have a son. His name is Phoenix and he is amazing, brilliant, funny, handsome, athletic, and adorable. (I'm having a normal my kid is awesome moment)

Through these last three years I've learned lots of new things and alot about my self.

First I've learned that if you truly love and put that first, it all works out. Love can conquer all but you have to work for it. 

Phoenix is two now and is our love and joy. Being an adoptive mom I hear all kinds of things and sometimes it is negitive, but I smile in the end because I know better. I know the love his BMom has for him and for us. I know that we are all a family and each member is important. I know what real love is and what being a parent truly means. I know how to accept hard things and work through them. I know that God is watching, blessing and loving us. 

I used to think God was superman and that he should save me. I'd be angry or hurt and wonder why me, but as I've grown and matured, I've learned God is there to help us through it, not out of it. 

Knowing this has changed my life. I can now put my trust in him and let go and that is true FREEDOM. 

I always had to know everything so I could prepare for it all, but once I truly let go and trusted that He would see me through not just take it away I could accept what is and what's to come.

I can live in the moment better and just be.

I'm not saying to not plan ever or sail through with no concerns. No, we should always think, learn grown, try and trust. This is just how I overcame a hard obstacle of mine and the freedom I have discoverd in learning to trust and let go.

Namaste.